Making friends with anxiety
Today, I was going to write about some of my recent experiences, but feel that I don’t really want to be hashing up the recent past at the moment.
I am so bored with some of the thoughts and worries that whirl around my brain, especially late at night. Then there are the thoughts that insist on invading my peace throughout the day – I am surprised that I remain sane! These thoughts are boring to say the least, boring because they are so repetitive, full of anxiety for things outside my control. Although I don’t allow them to stay long, it is still waring having them visit and trying to push them away. I have to keep busy, so my mind is focused on other things, a welcome distraction. But is that anyway to live?
As from now, I am going to try a different method. Instead of seeing them as the enemy, destroying my peace, perhaps it is time to accept and make friends with them.
So maybe “ Oh, S**t Andy has got to have a liver transplant and is going to have a 8 – 12 hour operation. Someone is going to take my husbands liver out of his body, like actually OUT of HIS BODY! ”
Maybe I can instead of pushing it out of my mind, for it to come again uninvited a white later, I could try and make friends with the thought. So maybe I can try this instead.
“ Thank you ‘Thought’ for reminding me that you care. How wonderful that he has the opportunity to have this life saving operation. I know you are worried, Anna, but remember he has one of the best teams around him and they all want to do their best to ensure he makes a full recovery.”
Even as I write this I feel a gentle calm come over me. It is going with the flow and not fighting against what is. I think it is going to take practice, but no doubt my ‘Thoughts’ will be generous in giving me lots of opportunity to try this out!