Making friends with anxiety

Today, I was going to write about some of my recent experiences, but feel that I don’t really want to be hashing up the recent past at the moment.

I am so bored with some of the thoughts and worries that whirl around my brain, especially late at night. Then there are the thoughts that insist on invading my peace throughout the day – I am surprised that I remain sane! These thoughts are boring to say the least, boring because they are so repetitive, full of anxiety for things outside my control. Although I don’t allow them to stay long, it is still waring having them visit and trying to push them away. I have to keep busy, so my mind is focused on other things, a welcome distraction. But is that anyway to live?

As from now, I am going to try a different method. Instead of seeing them as the enemy, destroying my peace, perhaps it is time to accept and make friends with them.

So maybe “ Oh, S**t Andy has got to have a liver transplant and is going to have a 8 – 12 hour operation. Someone is going to take my husbands liver out of his body, like actually OUT of HIS BODY! ”

Maybe I can instead of pushing it out of my mind, for it to come again uninvited a white later, I could try and make friends with the thought. So maybe I can try this instead.

“ Thank you ‘Thought’ for reminding me that you care. How wonderful that he has the opportunity to have this life saving operation. I know you are worried, Anna, but remember he has one of the best teams around him and they all want to do their best to ensure he makes a full recovery.”

Even as I write this I feel a gentle calm come over me. It is going with the flow and not fighting against what is. I think it is going to take practice, but no doubt my ‘Thoughts’ will be generous in giving me lots of opportunity to try  this out!

Anna x

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3 comments on “Making friends with anxiety

  1. Tracey Godding on said:

    … you had the answers you wrote them down…
    We have too many worries and anxieties we carry not saying a word thinking we can ‘cope’ but in reality its exhausting that weight on your own…its good to share …it takes the weight off. Tx

  2. I can totally relate to this I have horrendous anxiety and sometimes I don’t leave the house for weeks. My main symptom if you like with anxiety is I immediately worry about health. That can be my health, my husband’s, my children or other family/friends. If someone around me is ill I start to tell myself that I am ill and I have the symptoms or as I say I worry someone close to me does. I always worry obsessively when the children are ill and my husband and parents etc know to re assure me. It literally drives me insane! I have recently tried saying ok thanks for your input but I am not going to listen to you, your just be irrational. It worked a little but I still need a lot of practice. Will try it your way also and see what helps. It’s nice to know your not alone. Thank you

    • Anna Watkins on said:

      Hello Jane. I am sorry to hear you are placed with anxiety. I see a support councillor and when we explored some of my fears, I was able to look over the edge and for a few moments voice my absolute fear. That of course, for me was that he wouldn’t make it through the operation. I visited in my mind how that would be, and I realised that even if the worst did happen, I would be Ok and I would cope without him. It is not how I want my life to be AT All, but knowing that I had good family and friends and my own interests, I realised that life would go on, although differently. I knew I had the strength and resilience to get through even the worst scenario. This has helped as once I had faced my fear, it didn’t have such a hold of terror over me. For me, know the worst fear would be having to tell my wonderful children and see their grief. Now that is something I don’t think I could cope with. Anna x